I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
