Rock
Scissors
Fuck
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
