I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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