If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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