the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
