i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
