On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
