Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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