Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
