Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
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