i think my mom watched the whole time
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
