Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
