I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
