I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
