with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
she smelled like a LAN party
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
