My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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