I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
