Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
