somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
