We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
