you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
