First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm bleeding and have questions
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
