nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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