My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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