we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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