Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
