I didn't shave. On purpose
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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