69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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