part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Boobs are out for the taking
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
