She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
