it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Randomize
