why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
