1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Randomize
