I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
