Screwed.edu
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
