plz talk dirty to me
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
