so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
