Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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