I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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