There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
