Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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