You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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