I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
where are my eyebrows?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
