I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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