with your own penis?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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