I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
