You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
