i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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