I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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