the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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