For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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